El TDAH no es una enfermedad, sino un trastorno that can be handled. Parents can not change the child or adolescent, but help to better control their behavior and overcome the difficulties associated with this condition. More importantly, can help to fully develop their skills and talents.
In this sense, it is essential to prevent the devastating effect of this condition in your child: the loss of self esteem. The development of self-esteem is a dynamic process that lasts a lifetime. Self-esteem is about valuing a person's self. If that person feels that he is, for example, less intelligent or handsome than you would or "should" be, is said to have low self-esteem. If, however, are comfortable with their attributes, have high self-esteem. Unfortunately, many children with ADHD receive negative comments from family, teachers and peers. It is possible that in class, teachers and classmates called him "fat" or "rude". In fact, several studies show that children with ADHD:
- themselves are valued more negatively than others
- feel they have more problems, which are unpopular and less happy than their age.
This may be due to different reasons:
- His difficulty controlling his behavior makes you have problems in their relationships with others (friends, classmates, siblings ...) and therefore, feel that their skills are insufficient.
- The child with ADHD, usually with poor school performance, compared with their peers and friends, and realizes, for example, which has taken all afternoon to solve a job that his friends did in an hour.
- These children often make more mistakes than the rest. They strive to do things, to please others, but the results are not always satisfactory and often make more mistakes than others, even when work harder.
- Following this unsuccessful effort to get frustrated, because "everything I do goes wrong."
- often must deal with activities that require them to pay more attention or who have self-control, increasing and their sense of frustration or failure.
- is very difficult to educate a child with ADHD. In some cases behaves very intelligent and mature, and others, looks like two years younger. This baffles parents often get angry at him and scold him, giving negative information about their behavior.
- After some work to do evil, adults fail to give responsibility for fear that do not comply. In this way, the child begins to feel incapable and insecure.
Thus, if a child with ADHD is not treated properly will have problems of self-esteem and depressive symptoms. Moreover, not only will continue to have difficulties to deal with and control their impulses, but will dismiss himself to school, peers or friends or even family, appearing unmotivated to overcome their difficulties.
The low self-esteem can be demonstrated in 3 ways:
- says "I do not think do, this is nonsense, it's too easy. " In this case, the child is masked by becoming the arrogant, but covertly express what prompted it difficult. It is important not to confuse this with a child who has high self-esteem.
- By saying "I'll do later, now I can not" try to avoid the task, not openly express their problems and tries to hide his feelings of inadequacy.
- "I do not want to do, because I'll get it much and no." With this phrase, the child openly expressed their difficulties.
improvement Guidelines
diagnosis and early treatment may contain the sense of low self esteem, helping them to recognize and develop their personal potential. Self-esteem will improve only when he or she feels competent. Not that these children can not or will not, they can and do, but for them it is a bit more difficult.
To improve self-esteem of your child, you can take some steps:
Find out what is special and tell
- Use praise, considering their difficulties and the degree of effort you've spent , and discuss all the positive aspects of their behavior. Encourage, recognize their interests and give positive attention. Reward yourself when you meet with your expectations and make sure not only feel appreciated, but you know it is special to you.
- Find a place to talk about what happened on the day and invite them to special activities (like going with his brothers to get ice cream or the park).
- is also important to show interest and attend the activities involved (school, sports, arts, etc.) Recognizing his efforts to others and their contributions. All this will help you feel valued and loved, despite his inattention or hyperactivity.
Use positive messages
- This will improve your communication with him. Try replacing the verb "be" for the verb "be." For example, instead of saying, "you are a messy," tell "your room is messy." In this way you demonstrate that your behavior is wrong without attacking their self-esteem.
believe in him
- is important that gives you the opportunity to assume responsibilities in the home, through activities that make you feel useful and important. You can start by offering activities that you know you can achieve success, and feed the dog or cat, mowing the lawn to the table.
- can also mingle with the brothers household chores, the opportunity to decide which fast food restaurant to visit or the privilege of occupying the front seat of the car.
Teach your child to discover what is good
- Some children with ADHD may feel they do not do anything right and that nothing they do will please anyone. Some normal behaviors in some children, how to stay still for long time your child can cost a lot of work. It is important that you take account of this effort, praise and reward.
- can also encourage your child in those areas where it has demonstrated a special ability, such as sports, music and storytelling. These skills can become a source of pride and achievement, and may even become more important in the lives of children that their own difficulties. Make sure that you feel is good and it makes you feel valuable.
Help to correctly analyze their problems
- is possible that doing your homework, your child Be sure to write the answer to a question, or missing numbers in an account. When you show your error, explain that this did not happen as a matter of intelligence but a distraction.
Help him to accept his own limitations
- Let him know that you understand their feelings and can help you understand that everyone has difficulties in some areas and in other capacities.
Treat it with respect
- Avoid ironies or comments like "you're useless" "you do everything wrong" or "You're irresponsible," and ridiculing the child's behavior and make him feel that he is worthless.
Encourage teaching their sense of responsibility to help others
- Your child can help younger children in the neighborhood (guarding or protecting, for example) and at school (serving assistant teachers of younger children). In this way, your child will feel competent and able to make a difference in the lives of others.
Play with your child
- Let your child choose and direct the game or activity and, if not too obvious, let him or her to win
Teach feel it's okay to make mistakes
- The child should understand that mistakes are not failures, but important steps in the normal process of learning. It is therefore important that you be the first to demonstrate how to accept mistakes and get out of them.
- addition, you must adopt realistic expectations about what to expect of your child in certain situations.
- Avoid overreacting to the errors of the child, explain that everyone can feel afraid to make mistakes and talk about your own mistakes honestly.
- Recognize the skills and achievements of your child before you correct the errors.
Accept your child
- Before attempting to improve the sense of personal security of children, adults who should change their way of seeing. You must remove the child from the conduct, and then separate the child from the disability.
- Learn to assess your child as a person, not just their successes and skills.
Source: http://www.feaadah.org/default.cfm?id_seccion=1411&id_c=2
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